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Shandana Sheikh completed our accredited Train the Trainer programme earlier this year and has now joined us as Country Partner for Lahore, Pakistan. In this interview, she tells us more about her passion for etiquette and manners and why she believes it is her mission to help people become a better version of themselves.
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What is your personal and professional background?
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My name is Shandana Sheikh and I work as the Co-Chairperson, Avicenna Medical & Dental College and Avicenna Hospital, a health care, family run business in Lahore city, Pakistan. I have been born and brought up in Pakistan, as the youngest member of my family and hence the most pampered one.
Prior to taking up this role of privilege, I earned my Doctorate degree in 2020, from Cardiff University, UK, specializing in Marketing and Strategy, with a specific focus on Entrepreneurship. Prior to my PhD, I pursued a Master’s degree in Marketing and Strategy, from University of Warwick, Coventry, UK from 2011-2012, which is one of the best years of my life. It was my first ever experience studying and living abroad independently but more importantly one of the most beautiful times when I met my better half.
Having completed my Masters, I joined as a Lecturer in Marketing at my Alma mater, Lahore School of Economics from 2012-2014, an experience that enabled me to give back the knowledge I had but also to learn from the diverse community of students I interacted with. In my current capacity as a Co-Chairperson at Avicenna, I work in the capacity of an Administrator but also work on developing a marketing strategy for the institution in line with its mission and vision.
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What are the biggest challenges that you have faced in your life so far?
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I would like to mention two here. First, the toughest challenge I have faced is when I was juggling my PhD and my personal life. During my write-up stage, I was expecting and was diagnosed with placenta previa and placenta insufficiency, a condition in pregnancy which restricted the oxygen supply to my unborn fetus. This meant that every day I had to monitor my baby’s heart beat ensuring that he was alive within me.
My husband had just started his new appointment and was away from our home country. This was the most difficult time as every day became so overwhelming; to manage work, health and the stress associated with keeping another human alive was a real challenge for me. However, I believe that only when you experience a challenge, you realize that you are strong enough to sail through it and I am glad I did.
The second challenge I have faced in life is about believing in myself and my abilities. I am the youngest in my family, thus have always been the baby of the house and brought up in a much protected environment. While this had its perks, it also created a disadvantage where I was not taken seriously. I always came off as someone whose ideas and opinions were doubted because I was perceived as inexperienced and young to make decisions. This, I believe was a challenge for me because it lessened my self- confidence and belief in my ability to do things independently. However, it also created a drive within me to prove myself.
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What inspires you to get out of bed in the morning?
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On the lighter side, it is my four year old who always gets up with a wave of excitement, ready to start his day. Besides, it is the drive to do something for myself and for others. Being brought up in a privileged family, I have the motivation to craft an identity of my own, something that I can proudly own. I believe it is very important for people born with a silver spoon to experience this. In the process, I want to invest in as many people as possible, in whatever way I can on a daily basis, to enable them to change themselves for the better.
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Which person, living or dead, has had the biggest impact on your life?
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I believe that there is not just one person who impacts you in life but every one you meet in life gives you an opportunity to learn something, because we all are unique and have something in us that makes us special. If I were to mention one person who has created a lasting impression on me, it will be my father. He is one person who I would call the backbone of my life; the genie with the magic lamp who has always made everything in life so simple, problem free and doable. He has taught me to be oneself, be honest, be straight-forward and be kind but the best lesson I have learnt from him is to be kind and to do good for when you do good, it comes back to you in magical ways.
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How do you incorporate etiquette and manners into your daily life?
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There are several aspects of my daily life where manners and etiquettes play a very important role. In a personal capacity, it all starts from etiquettes of daily life including simple things like using the lavatory, making up your own bed, maintaining basic hygiene amongst others. In the social aspect, I am cautious of how I treat others and this starts from the people at the bottom of the pyramid such as the help in my household. Simple gestures such as greeting them, smiling at them, acknowledging their presence or being a good listener are all examples of exhibiting good manners in my daily life. I believe that whatever behaviour and actions I display, my kids will learn the same so the responsibility on me is double fold.
In my professional capacity, my etiquettes and manners govern how I interact with people at different levels. The nature of my work requires me to meet people from different backgrounds, gender and status but I adopt one common strategy with all of them and this is ‘kindness and respect’. I strongly feel that this is one ingredient to building successful relationships at work, or in personal life. I believe that one cannot be selective in good etiquettes and manners; it is a universal code of behavior that applies to all individuals, places and spaces. It costs nothing to display good manners and make someone feel good.
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What difference are you hoping to make to the lives of others?
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Since childhood, I have been very fond of giving back to the community in whatever small ways I can. As an 8 year old, I used to teach alphabets to the children of my help, feeling that they don’t go to school but can definitely learn something at home. For me, it is always about helping people to become a better version of themselves. With the jewels of good etiquettes and manners, I aim to empower the younger generation of today with the tools to gain the confidence and skills to become a better person.
As a starting point, I aim to embark on this journey with the students in the medical profession, who have the big responsibility of saving human lives and thus need to master the code of conduct for moral principles, beliefs and values that guide them in making choices about medical care. Besides, I am passionate about teaching etiquette and manners to the youth including children and teens for I believe that manners learned at this stage get ingrained and become a way of life. These are the hard skills that are required to stand out in this global, competitive world.
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Tell us a little bit about your family and your personal interests/hobbies
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We are a family of 4 with me being the only female. The rest are the three men who are the center of my world; my loving and supportive husband and my two beautiful boys. My husband is an economist and works with the Asian Development Bank but despite being a workaholic, he is a hands on father and a great pillar of support for our family. My two boys make each day more meaningful and joyful by embracing us with the purest form of love.
I am the youngest in my family of 5. My father was in the Military but in his mid-thirties he resigned and pursued his career in entrepreneurship. His first project, ‘Áadil Hospital’ was the outcome of his desire to provide quality health care to the people in Pakistan, a privilege he could not have for his elder son, who passed away at the age of 11 years due to an undiagnosed defect caused to his brain during birth. Following his passion of serving the people, he set the stone for his second project of providing quality health care education to the students in Pakistan. This led to the inauguration of Avicenna Medical and Dental College, a leading health care education institution in Lahore, Pakistan.
My mother, the iron lady of our family spent her life in making us the individuals we are today. She sacrificed her career to invest her time in her children, ensuring that they excel at everything. I have 3 siblings; two sisters and a brother. My eldest sister is a Consultant Radiologist at the Ottawa Hospital and lives with her family in Canada. My second sister, a doctorate in International Development, works for our family business, Avicenna Medical and Dental College but pursues her passion of being a Climate change expert in Pakistan. She has worked on several government and United Nations Project on Climate change, a pressing issue facing the country in current times. My brother, a Masters in health care and hospital administration, has successfully taken over Aadil Hospital and is ensuring my father’s vision is achieved.
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